For the last 5 or so years I have felt like my life was on hold. I woke up every morning wondering how I was going to make my life count……..how I was going to contribute to society. I was certain that I was put on this earth to be a mom. Maybe if I raised well-adjusted children my work would be done here. With that in mind, I searched relentlessly for someone to love……someone to be the father of my children. Having no success in the dating realm, I decided to have a baby on my own. The 10 month process of tests and research (for the right donor) ended with a counselling appointment that made me change my mind. So much for having that random, balding, Dutch guys baby!
I decided that the reason I must have bailed on the sperm bank idea was because I hadn’t given true love my best effort. So I hopped on the net, researched dating services and started analyzing different alternatives. I interviewed a hokey matchmaker and settled on a computerized dating service. It was great. Within a month I was consistently dating. After about 9 months and no second dates, I was frustrated. Every date felt like the same date……dinner and endless questions. Enough was enough. I met my friend L for lunch. She assured me that I had given it my best shot and that I could move on with my life. Her first suggestion was to do my MBA overseas. Just the thought of going overseas put a smile on my face, so I started brainstorming and praying.
I prayed every day. “What is my purpose?” “Why am I here?” “If I am not supposed to be a mom, then what?” I wrote USE ME GOD on my bathroom mirror and woke up every day surrendering my life the highest and greatest good of ALL. In February 2006 I met with the VP from the last company I worked at. He echoed L’s sentiment that an MBA could be a good choice for me. He introduced me to an alumna from the IESE Business School. Coincidentally, I was enroute to Paris to an MBA fair to check out several schools I was interested in and IESE was going to be there. And the rest as they say is history. I met an admissions director from IESE, flew to Barcelona for an Open Day they were having and fell in love with the school. Everyone I met was fascinating…….students, alumni, staff…..I could just feel the heart of the school. I flew back to Calgary and everything fell into place. I registered for a GMAT prep course, worked diligently on my essays for the application and wrote the GMAT the day before I flew to Maui in May for my friend L’s wedding. I spent the first two days in Maui in an internet cafe fine-tuning my application and before I flew back home I had been invited to interview.
What a ride it has been! I was officially accepted last Friday. My house sold yesterday and I will be done my job on July 21st. The feelings about my new adventure come in waves. There are times when I can’t contain my happiness and there are times when fear consumes me. Most of the time I am just trying to finish off my massive TO DO list so that I can move to Spain unencumbered by worries and concerns.
To say I am going to miss my family and friends is an understatement. I have been blessed with the most amazing people in my life. In a conversation with God the other day I was told that I was going to experience love like I have never known. I find that hard to believe because my life thus far has been filled with great love. Nevertheless, knowing this keeps me moving forward……anxious for the day that I fully understand my purpose.
Love and blessings.